How to Shoot Engagement Sessions
Engagement photography has become its own genre unique from other types of portrait sessions. As opposed to solo portraits, the subject is not really the person, nor is the subject simply two people. Family photography sessions are often largely about creating an archive, memorializing the way the kids looked at a specific age, capturing together extended family that might not get together often. In engagement photography, the very subject is the relationship and dynamic between the two people. While capturing emotion is a benefit to every type of portrait, emotion is the most critical ingredient of engagement photography: capturing the love and romance between two people.
Like many enthusiast photographers, I have built a part-time career around 
photography and engagement photography has become a bit of my specialty, probably doing over a dozen sessions per year. I will not claim to be the foremost expert on engagement photography nor do I claim all my images are perfect. But in this post, I’ll share what I’ve learned over the last few years shooting couples. I’ll address a bit about gear, working with couples, composition, etc. At the end of the post, I’ll share what may be the most romantic engagement photo spot in the world.
If you’re not a photographer but stumbled on this post as you plan your own engagement session, this post may include some information to help you set your expectations in planning your session.
Engagement Photography vs. Proposal Photography
Some people confuse “engagement photography” with photographing a proposal. They are two very different things in practice. Proposal photography is primarily candidly capturing the surprise moment. The photographer is inherently restricted: Though you can anticipate where the couple will be located, you can’t pose them nor fully predict how they may turn and move as they interact. The photographer will typically want to stay at a discreet distance. The candid situation doesn’t lend itself well to things like off camera lighting. Furthermore, in a traditional surprise proposal, the bride (or whomever is being proposed to), won’t necessarily have selected the wardrobe and presentation that they might want had they known they were being photographed.
Here are a couple examples of proposals I have captured:
You can also read my article, Capturing a Proposal with 3 Primes.
While I’m not unhappy with the images above, they demonstrate some of the restrictions of capturing a candid moment. In the first image, as I was shooting in low light (and a flash constantly going off would be disruptive), I had to use a wide aperture, making it impossible to get both people within the depth of field. Additionally, due to the location, I couldn’t even capture the faces of both people in the same image. In the second series, I was dealing with extremely harsh mid-day lighting.
When shooting a proposal, almost immediately after the candid moment (and giving the couple a few minutes of alone time), I like to re-stage the proposal to make sure top quality images are achieved. In the below samples, I switched from a zoom lens to a prime lens, I was able to position everyone, and make use of off-camera lighting with a softbox.
As these images were taken just minutes after the candid proposal, the emotions genuinely reflect the moment even though the images are staged.
So what is Engagement Photography..
When my wife and I were married almost 20 years ago, the photographer spent 5 minutes doing a couple of quick portraits in the studio as “engagement photographs.” Today, many couples plan an engagement photography session as a true event in the stages of the wedding planning, much like they might plan a rehearsal dinner and bachelor/bachelorette parties. Pinterest boards are devoted to engagement photography. Couples may carefully select wardrobes, themes and locations. The images may be used for Save the Date cards, wedding planning websites, display at the actual wedding, and of course simply for their own keepsake. Some couples have elaborate plans while others put themselves in the hands of their photographer.
I typically tell couples that their engagement session will be much more enjoyable than their portrait sessions on the day of the wedding, with the potential for better images. On the wedding day, there are strict time restraints. Locations are typically limited to the wedding venue. Attire is generally limited to wedding gown and tuxedo. But for an engagement shoot, nearly any location can be chosen at any time. A couple can choose to go with very formal attire or totally casual. There is no roomful of relatives and friends next door waiting for them.
As with all types of photography, the photographer should listen to the client and work towards the theme the client wants, while of course maintaining their own style. But most importantly, it’s the job of the photographer to capture the intimacy, affection and love between two people.
My First Engagement Session
I didn’t charge for my first engagement session a few years back, it was a favor to an acquaintance, and a chance to build my own experience. I don’t believe any enthusiast should really try to charge clients until they are confident they can deliver a professional product.
At the risk of embarrassing myself, I’m going to share some of the worst images from the session. As I went back through my archives for this post, I had to laugh at how bad some of the images were. Some were okay but none were great. But I’ll share some of the truly bad ones to share some lessens:
These photos are not good. They aren’t terrible for amateur snapshots but I’d be embarrassed to show them to more recent clients. By putting together a list of some of the things wrong with these photos, we will establish a roadmap for the remainder of our discussion.
- The photographs do not depict any intimacy or romance, the two people may as well just be friends or relatives. There is no romantic connection
- They are not professional models, it was my job to help them pose at flattering angles.
- Using smallish aperture of F5 to F6.3 placed sharpness over the softness one associates with a romantic image
- Little thought of light placement with the second photograph poorly utilizing aggressive direct flash
- Neither the time nor the location were properly used to make the best images. I was in a lovely waterfront park. I moved them from spot to spot but did so blindly, without truly using the background and foreground.
So let’s see if I’ve learned anything over the last few years…. Without further ado, some tips and thoughts for capturing great engagement photographs
Help the Couple Relax and Be Natural
In most cases, you’re a stranger to the couple. Even if you’re doing an engagement shoot for friends, they probably aren’t commonly too touchy and affectionate in front of you. Sure, they will stand there and smile for photos but hopefully you want to capture a deeper emotional bond. To do so, you’re going to need to earn their trust and help them relax. Hopefully, the couple becomes comfortable enough that they aren’t shy about sharing a romantic kiss as you snap photographs…
Plan the sessions to be long enough so that you can spend the first 15 minutes just chatting with the couple, going through some basic poses and making them comfortable. One exercise I’ll sometimes utilize is to have them make funny faces at each other, once they are laughing it gets them past any nerves.
Couples may also act more naturally if you give them space — Stay out of their earshot and photograph from a distance. This isn’t recommended for most of the session and I’m not a fan of over-reliance on long telephoto lenses but shooting a few images from a distance gives the couple some “alone time” while also giving the photographer the opportunity to capture some environmental shots.
Posing the Couple
Remember that you’re not working with professional models but they may be disappointed if you don’t make them look as good as they have seen in magazines. If you show up thinking that you’ll just take pictures of however the couple chooses to pose, then you’ll just get snapshots. It’s important to teach the couple some basic posing techniques: men should stand up straight and shouldn’t be flat footed. Women should generally keep arms and legs bent, with weight on their back legs. Bodies generally should not be straight on towards the camera. And different body types will require different types of posing. Don’t be shy about telling the couple how to move, how to stand. (But don’t touch them without permission).
It’s not enough to have subjects posing at flattering angles. When posing a couple, you ultimately want to build up on their connection.
Capturing the Connection in an Engagement Photograph
Solo portraits are about the connection between the subject and the viewer, and therefore the photographer often seeks provocative eye contact with the camera. Family photos are often heavily about the familial connections between the subjects: a child sitting on a parent’s lap, siblings with arms around shoulders. Engagement photography needs to capture the romantic connection between two people. Apart from literal romantic kissing embraces, the most direct ways to depict such a connection make use of physical closeness, hands/arms, and eye contact.
First, let’s start with a constructive criticism of some of my poorer photos:
In this photo, the couple builds a bit of a connection by holding hands but they are leaning away from each other. The physical distance between them is not suggestive of a romantic intimacy, not a couple deeply enthralled in love about to get married. At the moment I took the photograph, I was probably primarily focused on the proper exposure and using the stone brick work as an attractive frame.
In this photo, you have close contact, the couple leaning in to each other. But without more, they could just be close friends posing for a photograph with each other. Nothing wrong with capturing a few photos like this during an entire engagement session, but you also want to capture photos that depict more of a connection.
If we take that couple, keep the closeness but add eye contact and hand contact, we start to see the emotional bond between them.
Additionally, the close-up makes the image feel more personal and intimate.
Let’s take a look at some engagement photos building contact with body closeness and hand/arm use.
The images above depict romantic couples. For now, I avoided photographs that show explicit romance — No staring into each other’s eyes or kissing. Yet even in these photos, the viewer should be aware of the type of connection between the subjects.
As we add eye contact into the poses, we further build in another layer of intimacy. By changing the eye contact, you can create a lot of variety in the same basic poses. Have the couple look at each other, but then vary it with one person looking at the camera and the other person looking at their partner.
Above, we get a unique feel to each of the photographs, as they look at each other at first, and then the bride turns to the camera. Both images are able to depict the loving connection between them. Below again, we intentionally pose where we want there to be eye contact.
And one final gallery where we utilize different types of eye contact with the couple, time building a connection..
The Kiss – Engagement Photos
The photographer shouldn’t be shy about asking the couples to show affection, to kiss each other. But with a few caveats: there are some individuals and couples that are extremely reluctant to have such intimacy photographed, whether for religious reasons or just personal qualms. Additionally, as a photographer posing your subjects, you want to avoid sloppy kisses and fishy faces. So not only can you ask the couple to kiss, but you can and should direct it. Encourage them to just brush lips instead of a deep french kiss, throw in kisses of the cheek and other affectionate gestures.
Time, Location and other Engagement Photo Particulars
The majority of engagement shoots are shot outdoors. I always give the couples a chance to pick a location that is meaningful to them but most want a beautiful park. For New York City clients, Central Park is the favored location. (the Brooklyn Bridge is probably the second most popular but I haven’t personally shot there).
But there is a major problem with Central Park, the common square that serves 8 million New Yorkers…
Part of a romantic image is being the only people in the world. And in any photograph, you don’t want cluttered backgrounds. I love a lot of things about the photograph above. The couple is well posed with genuine emotion apparent. I added some off camera lighting to make the scene more dynamic, you’re getting nice golden reflections from the Bethesda Terrace ceiling. But unfortunately, we have a scene full of passing people. The couple had to do this shoot at 4:00 p.m. on a nice day: the popular parts of the park are guaranteed to be busy.
Thus, picking areas of isolation away from the crowds can be more important than picking the most beautiful spot.
One way to handle clutter of crowds (or any other clutter in an unattractive location), is simply to crop tight around the couple in your images. As I’ll discuss later below, you’d want some images like this anyway.
Worst case, keep any crowds as a distant background, so they don’t clutter the frame. Taking the couple up a hill, I was able to find a spot where everyone else at least was in the distant background.
The above images had another challenge which was the time of the day. Most photographers are already aware of golden hour: shooting around sunrise and sunset. When shooting in popular locations, sunrise shoots have an added benefit: typically far fewer crowds. Unfortunately, the couple (and the photographer) aren’t always early risers for a sunrise shoot. Not to mention that golden sunsets are romantic…
In summary, every photographer should value golden hour which remains true for engagement shoots. Sunrise shoots give the benefits of great lighting and the ability to avoid crowds in popular locations.
Creating Soft Romantic Images
The posing discussed above it probably the most critical aspect of making the image look romantic, but there are also photographic techniques that further enhance the romantic feel of an image. A “soft” image has a romantic vibe to it. By soft, I don’t mean a non-sharp lens, it’s more an entire look.
One aspect of such softness is making use of narrow depth of field. As in every portrait, the eyes of your subject should be sharp but these are not the types of images where every part of the body needs to be sharp.
In the above images, the narrow depth of field adds a softness to the photographs. Narrow depth of field is also something harder for completely amateur photographers to achieve properly and is therefore often appreciated by clients.
A footnote on narrow depth of field: The camera makers seem to be competing to make faster and faster glass, with larger apertures blurring backgrounds more and more. Note that neither of the above photographs was shot at super large aperture. In the second Central Park photograph, I kept the aperture at F4 because while I wanted the background blurred, I didn’t want it totally unrecognizable. Further, since you are shooting 2 people, it is challenging to keep them both reasonably sharp if the depth of field is super narrow with a large aperture. Thus, while I advocate using fairly narrow depths of field, I would be careful about going too extreme.
Another aspect of a “soft romantic” image can be backlighting and/or flare. Flare is typically considered a photographic defect but in proper situations it can lend some romance to an image. Below we see some images where backlighting and flare make for a softer and more intimate feel.
When I teach photography, I teach that the single most important aspect of creating an interesting image is understanding the light. That’s particularly true of portraits and engagement photography. The quality and direction of the light can be used to enhance the romantic feeling of a photograph, using artificial off camera lighting or relying on the natural light. We’ve already discussed golden hour engagement portraits above.
In this photograph, I used an off camera softbox as the key light, to essentially spotlight the dancing couple. But I also placed a speedlight behind the couple just to give a slight pop of backlighting. It actually wasn’t easy to get the shot as it was difficult to focus in the near darkness of the room (hotel patio bar that was closed for winter) but the couple didn’t object to staring into each other’s eyes for a bit. There is no reason to rush, get the shot right.
In this photograph, we are utilizing both natural light and artificial light. A soft box is used as fill, eliminating any harsh shadows. The early morning soft sun comes from camera-right, providing a soft golden rim light.
Narrow depth of field isn’t just about blurring backgrounds. By using narrow depth of field to blur foreground elements, you can simulate that the viewer is a voyeur capturing an intimate private moment between the couple.
Narrow depth of field and controlling the direction and quality of light are critical ingredients in enhancing the romantic feel of an image.
Close-Ups versus Environmental Engagement Photos
Close-ups are intimate and can typically more often convey loving emotion. At the same time, environmental/location portraits carry great value, they portray the couple as being partners in the world. And if a beautiful and scenic location has been chosen for the engagement shoot, then we can assume the couple wants the beautiful scene location to be part of the images. Thus, I find it important to deliver a variety of images that range from tight upper body shots to full body shots to shots that really exhibit the location.
Lenses and Focal Length for Engagement Photography
As we discussed depth of field and composition, it’s a good time to step back and talk about focal length. My thinking on focal length has evolved significantly over my time shooting engagement sessions.
My favorite focal length for solo and couple portraits is approximately 85mm. Shooting outdoors with sufficient space, I’m happy with anything between 85 and 135mm for the overwhelming majority of my shooting (maybe even 100% of my shooting). The focal length allows for flattering compression of facial and body features while creating a comfortable working distance from the couple. While shooting at 200mm or longer can be appealing, it often puts you too far away from the couple to interact with them and direct them.
While zoom lenses offer a lot of flexibility, they are inherently limited in many ways. Most professionals and many enthusiasts own a 24mm – 70mm F/2.8 zoom lens. The problem with this lens is that 70mm is just a bit too short, and 70mm at 2.8 may give you less control over the depth of field than you would want. A 70mm-200mm F/2.8 lens gives you the flexibility over a very good portrait focal length range and you can achieve very narrow depth of field at 200mm and 2.8, but such lenses are extremely bulky and heavy. During an engagement session, I’m often moving around a location with the couple and don’t want to be excessively weighted down.
I’m a fan of primarily using prime lenses for engagement photography. For years, my workhorses have been 85mm F/1.4 and 85mm F/1.8 prime lenses. I’m currently shooting with the Rokinon 85mm F/1.4 for my most recent sessions.
But what about the environmental or location portraiture? I used to pack a wide angle lens and use it for some of those location images… Below see some examples captured with wide angle lenses..
Wide angle lenses are known to cause distortion but this is actually a bit of an oversimplification. Distortion is due to part of the frame being relatively much closer to the camera than another part of the frame. So if you shoot a portrait of someone 10 feet away with a telephoto lens, the tip of their nose may be 10 feet away and their ears are 10 feet 6 inches away — not much difference. But if you shoot with wide angle from a distance of just 2 feet away, then their nose may be just 18 inches away and their ears are 24 inches away, a large relative difference.
Point being, if you shoot with a wide angle and you keep the couple far enough away, they won’t get distorted. But a very wide angle lens will still distort the environment. Thus looking at the photographs above in retrospect, I probably never should have gone wider than 24mm.
Nowadays, I don’t carry an ultra-wide angle lens with me at all for environmental sessions. As noted above, I carry an 85mm prime but I’ll also carry a 35mm prime. One may think that I use the wider lens, the 35mm for the location/environmental shots but that’s only true if I’m limited for space or want more depth of field.
In the first image above, shooting at 35mm and F5, the point was to get a location image with fairly wide depth of field. Though I often prefer narrow depth of field, the 35mm allows me to capture the wider depth when wanted without excessively stopping down. In the second image, I was simply limited for space. Backing up with a longer lens would have pushed me into crowds of people. Shooting at 35mm and F1.4 allowed me to still get a nice 3D pop of background blur. (Shot with the Rokinon 35mm F/ 1.4, See on Amazon / Adorama).
In this tight indoor space, shooting at 35mm was the only way to get a full body shot of the couple. Though I like this photo, we see how the feet and legs look a bit disproportionally large compared to the shoulders and head.
So when I absolutely must shoot wider than my ideal 85mm, I’ll shoot at 35mm.
Below, you’ll see why I prefer the longer focal length even for “wider” landscape/environmental shots.
Above, you’ll see essentially the same composition and framing taken at the same location, with 35mm and 85mm. For the 85mm image, I simply stepped further back to keep the couple a similar size in the frame.
For an engagement photograph, I find the 85mm frame superior to the 35mm frame in several ways. The 85mm created a more romantic image with more background blur and with compression of the background. Additionally and most importantly, the compression is more flattering for the couple’s bodies.
Thus, when you have the space, I encourage doing your “wide” landscape portraits with a telephoto lens like 85mm. The below “wide” images were all shot at 85mm.
Get the Couple Moving
Well posed and “staged” photos are important but you want to also get the couple to interact with each other and their environment. It creates variety in the photo shoot and allows for more dynamic images.
One common technique I use is simply to have the couple start from a distance and walk towards me. I may ask to be playful as they walk, give each other tugs and jostles. If you shoot the walk in a burst, you’ll get lots of bad photos, but you’ll likely also get a couple images where their feet were landing and hips were swaying in a way that made for an excellent pose.
Often I may ask the couple to dance with each other, especially if they have opted for formal attire. Sometimes there will be interaction based on the theme chosen by the couple, as with our football players below.
In every shoot, find some way to create real interaction and movement. At a minimum it breaks up the pattern of the same poses and allows the couple to have a bit more fun.
Less is More
The majority of my images are properly exposed portraits showing the couple’s faces and eyes. But sometimes couples appreciate images that are less explicit, showing their connection in a more “artistic” fashion. One common technique is to take advantage of backlighting to show a silhouette…
One couple wore matching sneakers. The basics of the photo was their idea, with my help posing it. Such photo may have little meaning to other people looking at the photo, but it’s meaningful to the couple. Others might not even know its them.
Such photos are also a good chance to showcase the engagement ring. (In fact, the photographer should be sure to feature the engagement ring in some of the “normal” images as well).
And at times, it can create an interesting image to partially hide the couple’s faces, either behind another object or using narrow depth of field and making the couple part of the background blur.
The “Iconic” Engagement Photography Location
You’ve probably seen one exact location popping up through several of my series. It’s an iconic New York City location. Many movies have been shot there, ranging from Enchanted to Spiderman to Highlander. It’s Bow Bridge in Central Park. I’ve heard it said that it’s impossible to take a bad picture on Bow Bridge. The bridge is always crowded. If you truly want special images alone on the bridge, without paying the city to shut it down for you, you need to show up super early in the morning. Even before sunrise, you wouldn’t be the only photographer shooting weddings and engagements on Bow Bridge, but you can get in line to wait your turn with your couple. If you want to watch great engagement photographers at work, just show up at Bow Bridge early in the morning, you’re bound to see a parade of photographers and couples.
So in this final gallery, my tribute to engagement photography on Bow Bridge..
My Favorite Lenses and Gear for Engagement Photography
I started engagement photography with the Nikon D750, which is now probably the best value traditional dSLR you can find. (See the Nikon D750 on Amazon / Adorama). I paired it with the Tamron 85mm F/1.8, a really top performing lens despite having an aperture of “only” 1.8. See the Tamron 85mm F/1.8 on Amazon / Adorama.
For the last 18 months, I moved fully over to Sony mirrorless. The newest Sony cameras sports incredible “Eye-AF,” automatically finding the nearest eye and focusing on it. With focus points all over the frame, it gives me a lot more freedom as the photographer. On the Nikon D750, I often had to “focus and re-compose,” requiring me to freeze the couple in their poses. (Read Eye-AF on Sony cameras.)
With eye-AF, I can just concentrate on the composition of the shot and my interaction with the couple. Manually locking a focus point on the eye and having to re-compose are now longer part of the mental equation when I shoot. I primarily shoot engagement photos with the Sony A7riii. The image quality simply puts me in awe. The high resolution gives me the freedom to crop easily, if I feel the need to adjust the photos in post-processing. See the Sony A7riii on Amazon / Adorama.
My current lenses are the Sony 85mm F/1.8 and Rokinon 35mm f/1.4, two very sharp lenses that are also great values. I’ve recently started using the new Rokinon/Samyang 85mm F/1.4, which is even better than the Sony 85mm F/1.8 but a bit heavier. I’m seriously considering switching my engagement photos to the Sony 100mm F/2.8 STF lens: a lens without the largest aperture and narrowest depth of field but that theoretically creates the nicest softed background blur quality. I did one session with the Sony 85mm F/1.4 GM: If it’s in your budget and you don’t mind the weight, you can’t go wrong with it.
- Sony 85mm F/1.8 on Amazon / Adorama
- Rokinon 85mm F/1.4 on Amazon / Adorama
- Sony 85mm F/1.4 GM on Amazon / Adorama
- Sony 100mm F/2.8 STF GM on Amazon / Adorama
- Rokinon 35mm F/1.4 on Amazon / Adorama
Last but certainly not least, consider lighting. I started doing engagement photography almost exclusively with natural light. Consider off camera flash, or even better, consider use of off camera softboxes and/or other modifiers. It takes some effort to learn and you may need an assistant during shoots, but it brings great value to your final images and to the impression you leave on clients. Pulling out the softbox will make the clients feel like more work is going into the images, it will help make them feel like the stars of their shoot. More importantly, taking control of off camera lighting creates superior images. At times, the effect will be subtle and the viewer won’t even realize off camera lighting was used. At other times, you can use the off camera lighting for artistic effect.
My favorite lighting system is Godox: very high build quality,very affordable, and the flashes seamlessly work wirelessly together. As a speedlight I really like the Godox 860ii (See the Godox 860ii on Amazon / Sold as Flashpoint on Adorama). But what I love is the Godox AD200, a portable wireless compact strobe, just a bit larger than a speedlight. (See the Godox AD200 on Amazon / Adorama). There are three strategies I’ve used to diffuse the flash:
- Flash/ Strobe on a boom with a simple MagMod sphere, the most portable option. (See the basic MagMod system on Amazon / Adorama)
- Strobe on a boom or stand with a cheap softbox, I was using the Godox 80×80 softbox: cheap and portable. See the Godox softboxes on Amazon / on Adorama.
- I recently added the Magmod Magbox system, which I’m still undecided on. Excellent build quality, easy assembly and takedown for working on the move. Pairs perfectly with the Godox AD200. But it is on the heavy side, and it’s quite expensive compared to the other options. That said, it’s still cheaper than most lenses. See the Magmod Magbox Pro kit on Adorama.
Thank you for Reading My Guide to Engagement Photography
Please leave comments below with any questions or to share your own experiences shooting couples and engagement photography.
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